We had a brief exchange on twitter about the nightmares of buying real estate in NYC/ outer boroughs. It is a shame that the stress of these transactions is necessarily compounded by job-related stress and fear.

Not long after the ink had dried on my co-op papers, I found out I would probably lose my job within a few years, not because I wasn’t able to do it well, but because my institution stinks. It has been pretty awful on some level to anticipate it, and having the apartment and mortgage can sometimes add to my anxiety about what I’ll do in the future, but it’s also been weirdly good. It has strengthened my resolve to be here and have a home where I am happy and fulfilled in my intellectual and recreational pursuits. It has allowed me to think of putting down roots as a defense against job insecurity, in a way, rather than the other way around. Best laid plans that are all about careers may not be best laid plans, in the end, but I think I can be happy about my choices as long as I feel in charge of them somewhat. I hope I can continue to feel that way, even when the doubts inevitably creep back in.