a professor here recently got full tenure, and i commented to him that i was impressed that he seemed so together and so professionally attired. i told him that if i ever got a guarantee that i’d never be fired, i would most likely cease to be recognizably human–that i would probably wear a ratty t-shirt, shut down most of my voluntary brain functions, and watch television for a few weeks.

i think he was shocked by my inane comments.

all of which is to say: congratulations.