A Constant Process of Not-Falling

The primary bit of awkwardness involved in not-blogging is the transition to once-again-blogging; there’s guilt and embarrassment, and an overwhelming need to explain where one has been and what one has been doing.

For my part, I have been doing this and this and this, and most of all, this. Among a couple of dozen or so other things.

It’s all fantastically gratifying. But I’m aware that as I’m doing all of that I’m continuing to not-write. And I’m also aware that I never really feel good about my productivity, my focus, my creativity, and so forth, unless I’m writing.

I keep announcing here various stabs at breaking the log-jam of not-writing, and then find myself continuing to not-write, overwhelmed by all of the other things in which I’m invested and involved. This is not one of those stabs, and it’s certainly not a declaration of breakthrough.

But it is a call to myself to keep rebalancing my priorities, to keep remembering that my life outside my official persona requires actual attention.

It is also a call to remember, as I told someone yesterday, that balance isn’t something you achieve. Balance in life, I think, is like balance in yoga: a constant process of not-falling. Hundreds of tiny adjustments, every minute, that produce stillness out of motion, calm out of panic.

So: reassessing, correcting, recentering. Transforming not-falling into balance, and not-writing into something more.

5 responses to “A Constant Process of Not-Falling”

  1. There’s more to the yoga analogy here. I’ve just started doing it and I find that before I can really worry about the balance stuff, I have a lot of stretching to do. A lot of the balancing depends on being limber enough to cede some of the balance to aligned bones – a structural integrity undermined by tight muscles. On the other hand, it’s also clear that balance depends on building up all the tiny muscles you never knew existed that help to make those minute adjustments when balancing for a long period of time. So maybe you are also in the process of stretching and building tiny muscles so that the next stage of balance you achieve will be more coordinated and stable.

  2. bonnie lenore kyburz Avatar
    bonnie lenore kyburz

    it’s invention, thus, “writing.” ta da!

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