#reverb10, day 15: 5 Minutes

Today’s prompt:

5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

I want to remember a bunch of the amazing travel I’ve gotten to experience this year: wandering around Istanbul, across London, through Gothenburg.

I want to remember the thrill involved in moving back to New York for a while (and not the pain in the neck of actually doing the moving).

I want to remember the feeling of walking from the library to my office at NYU, realizing how much everything had changed and yet how familiar it all was, a cognitive dissonance that I’ve experienced again and again this fall. As I looked around and thought, why does this feel so different, the thought “well, it’s because you’re taller” went through my head, clear as day. And I did feel taller, but needless to say, I haven’t grown a millimeter since 1998. So.. taller?

I want to remember that moment at which it dawned on me: I felt taller because I wasn’t weighed down with by the anxiety I’d carried around NYU with me throughout grad school.

I want to remember why that anxiety is gone.

I want to remember dancing around my hotel room after I’d gotten the call from my dean, telling me that my promotion had gone through.

I want to remember what that review process felt like — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and also the feeling when it dawned on me that it was a process I might never have to go through again.

I want to remember those many moments this year at which I’ve gotten to see the ideas I’ve had take flight.

And I want to remember how amazing this sabbatical has been, and the equally amazing feeling that I’ve stil got half of it ahead of me.