Panic, or Something Close to It

I completely collapsed again last night, apparently not as recovered from my jet lag as I’d thought. I was dead asleep before 10 pm last night — but then woke up in a cold sweat sometime before 2 am. A serious cold sweat — I actually had to move to another spot on the bed because the sheets were too damp to stay put.

And that was the end of sleep last night. As soon as I woke up I began thinking, which is never a good thing, particularly when what I’m thinking about is how I’ve managed to dig myself into another hole, work-wise, taking on way too much and suddenly finding myself uncertain that I’ll actually be able to get everything done. I’ve got, depending on how you count them, two or three major projects that are going to need serious attention over the next six to eight months. That’s not counting my own writing project, which I’m now realizing is going to have to be put off until the December break, and then again until summer. And my administrative responsibilities at the college are, I’ll only say, mounting.

Yesterday afternoon I was quite convinced that I could manage all this. At 2 am, not so much. I’ve now spent the last three hours trying to get some clarity on the situation, and while I’m not exactly in what I’d call a panic over the situation, I’m not all that far away. I think if I’m going to survive this, I’m going to need a really good research assistant or two, particularly next semester. That and a really, really good scheduling system and task prioritizer.

Now to draw a deep breath and plunge in…

3 thoughts on “Panic, or Something Close to It

  1. A week or two ago, I had a dream in which I was editing my cover letter. There’s nothing remarkable about having a dream about one’s work, of course, but when I woke up, I was amazed by the dream’s accuracy and clarity. I was *really* editing my cover letter–I’d stared at it so long that I apparently tucked it away in my brain word for word.

    Needless to say, I woke up with a tension headache. And then I walked to my computer and worked on my cover letter.

  2. Wow, that sounds like an intimidating workload. You should definitely dump as much administrative stuff as you can. You’re tenured, remember?

  3. October 13, 2006

    Trying to re-enter a smaller local college as a student, I can sympathize with your coping mechanisms but panic isn’t good – have you tried writing poetry?



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